The Coquitlam Crunch is one of my favourite spots to clear my head, get my heart rate up, and find a little perspective. If you have ever been there, you know it is a steady climb. A few weeks ago, I was on my way back down the trail when I witnessed a moment that perfectly captures why so many of us struggle to maintain our momentum in life, business, and sport.
A hiker just ahead of me reached one of the intersections where the trail meets the road. She stepped to the curb, and waited for a break in traffic. One car kept going, completely ignoring her presence and that she was at the crosswalk waiting to cross. Meanwhile, a car in the other lane slowed down and came to a complete stop while waving at her to cross.
Both things happened. One person kept going and one stopped.
The hiker’s reaction got me thinking because she didn’t even wave to the driver who stopped. Instead, she crossed the road shaking her head in disbelief at the car that sped away. She was visibly frustrated. Even after she reached the other side and continued down the trail, I could tell she was still annoyed.
This moment stayed with me. It made me wonder how often we do the exact same thing in our daily lives. We have two truths standing right in front of us, yet we choose to obsess over the one that makes us upset.
Two Truths
One car didn’t stop. That is a fact.
One car did stop. That is also a fact.
The hiker had a choice. She could have focused on the person who recognized her and stopped. Choosing that focus would have likely left her feeling grateful, light, and energized. Instead, she chose to focus on the person who didn’t stop. By doing so, she gave her power away to a stranger who was already down the road and likely hadn’t given her a second thought.
These moments can show up in athletics, in school, in business, in work, and even in relationships. For example, at work, you might receive a performance review where your boss praises nine areas of your work but offers one piece of constructive criticism. Most people spend the next three days obsessing over that one critique, completely ignoring the fact that they are actually winning in ninety percent of their role.
Selective focus stalls your momentum. When you fixate on the “car that didn’t stop,” you drain the fuel you need to keep moving toward your goals.
Why Your Brain Is Hooked on the Negative
It is important to acknowledge that our brains are naturally wired to look for the “car that didn’t stop.” Evolutionarily, noticing the threat: the car that might hit us: was more important for survival than noticing the person being nice. However, we no longer live in a world where every negative interaction is a life-or-death threat.
In a modern context, this biological bias often turns into a mental trap. We stay in a state of high alert and frustration long after the “threat” has passed. The hiker was safe on the other side of the road, yet her brain remained in the intersection, fighting a battle that was already over.
Stepping into a Champion Mindset requires you to override this default setting. It isn’t about ignoring reality or pretending the bad stuff didn’t happen. It is about deciding which “truth” deserves your limited time and energy.
If you are currently feeling stuck or discouraged, look at where you are pointing your internal camera. Are you filming the person who supported you today, or are you on a loop replaying the person who let you down?
The Cost of Giving Away Your Energy
Every time you choose to dwell on a negative experience, you pay for it with your momentum. Think of your energy as a finite resource. You only have so much to get you through the day.
When you focus on the car that didn’t stop, you are essentially giving your energy away.
In my work as a resilience coach, I see high achievers hit walls because they are “energy leaking.” They are doing the work, they have the talent, and they are showing up. However, they are so focused on the obstacles, the critics, and the setbacks that they have nothing left for the actual execution of their vision.
Resilience is the ability to see the car that didn’t stop, acknowledge that it happened, and then immediately pivot your attention back to the car that did. This pivot allows you to keep your mind clear.
How Are You Going to Finish the Day?
The hiker at the Coquitlam Crunch seemed to be enjoying the hike until that intersection. I’m not sure how long she let that situation impact her, hopefully only minutes.
However, in your day, you have the power to decide how it ends.
If you had a rough morning, you are not obligated to have a rough afternoon. If a client was rude to you at 9:00 AM, that does not mean your 2:00 PM meeting is doomed. You get to choose which “car” defines your narrative.
Ask yourself:
- Who showed up for me today?
- What went right, even if it was a small thing?
- Am I giving more attention to my critics than my supporters?
Sometimes, shifting your focus requires a physical reset. Maybe you need to step away from your desk, grab a Conquer Your Day mug, and sit in silence for a moment to recalibrate. Perhaps you need to change your clothes and put on an I Am Resilient tee to remind yourself of who you actually are.
Practising the Pivot
Developing a Champion Mindset takes consistent practice and you can build it every time you consciously redirect your thoughts.
Start small. The next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or an email comes in with a tone you don’t like, notice the flash of frustration. Acknowledge it. Then, immediately look for the “car that stopped.” Look for the win. Look for the person who helped you.
Which truth are you going to take home with you? Which truth are you going to tell your partner about over dinner? Which truth are you going to allow to occupy space in your mind as you lay your head on the pillow tonight?
Your momentum depends entirely on your answer.
Greatness is not the absence of “cars that didn’t stop.” Greatness is the ability to keep walking toward your goal while the “cars zoom past,” refusing to let them dictate your pace or your peace of mind.
Finish your day focusing on the good. The other car isn’t worth your time.
Meet Phebe Trotman. Phebe is an author, speaker, and resilience coach who shares lessons from sport, business, and life through the Never Quit on a Bad Day® mindset. Her work supports individuals and organizations as they step into their greatness with confidence and intention. Learn more at neverquitonabadday.com.
